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It’s a question that has haunted my decision making, my self esteem, my confidence, my accomplishments, my luck, my health and has robbed me of time that I’ll never get back, time that I could have been kicking ass and accomplishing amazing sh*t instead of getting my Master’s Degree in taking screen shots of people I don’t know and zooming in. ” question a long time ago and oddly enough, when I stopped hating, when I stopped comparing, being jealous and seeking the answers at the expense of my dignity, I stopped being the girl that never got chosen; the girl who was so forgettable and so easy to walk away from. Who you are is the girl who took the initiative to read this blog because deep down you knowwww whats up. The fact that you are obsessing to the extent that you are means that something is very wrong because you’re essentially proving to yourself (your true self; the awareness), that you don’t respect yourself or your time because you’re clearly all good with wasting it obsessing over someone that didn’t value or respect you, along with some girl that you don’t even know.
commitment to myself and I became “the girl who got away.” In my opinion, that has a much better ring to it than “sh*tbat crazy psycho ex gf.” So what do you do when your ex starts dating someone new and you find yourself at a total loss of control, reason and pain relief? You are not your uncontrollable feelings of doubt, heartbreak, obsession and insecurity. The reason that you associate who you are with how you feel is because it’s scary to take action and instead of actually doing so, you’d rather give your life a proverbial tit job and subscribe to the words of someone that knows that they deserve better but that never actually takes the initiate to get up, go get it and act. You can’t get out of the obsession because obsession is rooted in self-blame and as long as you can continue to blame yourself, you can hang onto the relationship and hit the “pause” button on your own story, a story that will always continue to play out regardless of the buttons that you choose to press.
They have bigger fish togo out and fry because they have a real, physical and emotional LIFE. I also noticed it’s a pattern, he’s dating someone at his second job we still work at the same place just different shifts but their it was me and at his previous job he also dated someone their. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who could earn an Ivy League degree in social media stalking!
These are the exact girls that emotionally unavailable guys will always refer to as the “one that got away,” “the unicorn,” whatever. Even if I know he’s not good for me it hurts and we still talk to each other we hangout with the same people. If you have to be around him, just give the bare minimum and stay on the white horse. He’s emotionally unavailable and anything he does is about him, not you. I’ve actually taken a hiatus from social media and it’s been the best thing.
Oftentimes, it becomes more about your ego, “winning” and playing detective than it is looking at reality.
And the reality is – he won’t change and is the exact same.
There are girls out there that actually know a red flag when they see one and on it. Before PMS, I thought I was alone in what I was going through and how I felt. I love the part where you say that we are the awareness, not the insanity. I just find out he’s dating someone else at this second job and it really hurt me since us is so recent it’s too soon and he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and would be single for a while of course he was lying.
He moved out and we did the on and off again for MONTHS. Two weeks later he has met a woman that works at WAFFLE HOUSE…he has moved in with her already. He told me that the entire 2 years we were together he was always looking for something else but since he met her he has deleted his profile on dating sites and has stopped looking and wants a relationship with her.I knew deep down that they weren’t right for me and that it would never work, but it completely broke my heart to know that they were dating someone new. It hurts even more when your ex starts dating someone that you know you’re better than, smarter than, prettier than, more educated than, etc.It’s like I didn’t really want them, but I also didn’t want them to be with anyone else. And NO, I’m not saying that some people are better than others. The him that I deserved, the him that I did everything for and the him that suddenly a commitment?! I was alone, picking up the pieces and couldn’t stop social media stalking. How could he say that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and then all of a sudden give her the relationship that I wanted with him? If they came across a photo of their boyfriend and I together and asked him who I was… I was the ex and they were the girls that I could never be, the ones that even though I knew deep down I shouldn’t compare myself to, I couldn’t help but do so because, well, he chose her and she was now with him.